Saturday, November 20, 2010

My blog is just my blog.

In case you haven't noticed, I've taken the week off from blogging...and I have no doubt that you've noticed since I'm sure you've all been checking back daily in hopes that I've posted something new right?? Wink, Wink! Well, I didn't intentionally stop blogging, it just sort of happened. As you can tell from my last post I got somewhat of a writers block situation....and you might say that it just didn't go away. I'm not sure that it was even writers block to tell ya the truth because honestly, it's not very often that I run out of things to talk about. I had a conversation with my mother about this yesterday and realized that it was the pressure that was getting to me. Do you believe it?? The pressure of this insignificant little hole in the wall blog that is for no such purpose other than to document the life of my oh so sweet little family. And that's what I finally came to realize...that my blogs purpose is just that. I think I stacked myself up to have so much in depth and profound wisdom that should be offered up to the world and yet I wasn't really sure where to begin. At the same time...when I tried to begin to write about something I thought was a bit more interesting, I felt as if it were so unimportant that nobody would really care to read it. Imagine that, nobody would want to read something I wrote? Hard to believe I know...but I can guarantee I'm not the first person who set themselves up with too high expectations and got cold feet in turn...kinda like stage fright. But I hate that I let myself sabotage the experience, especially when it comes to something that is supposed to be a fun little hobby as simple as writing.

But, the good news is - It only lasted for a week and now I think I'm out of my funk. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm blogging because I want to. Because I want to open our lives up to our family and friends, because I enjoy writing and a huge part of it is honestly because I am actually happy to have something to call my own. Yes, it's about my family and our lives...but it's MY blog. I do the writing and I write when I want, about what I want, and whether people like it or not. I don't do it because my kids need me to or because I think it will make me a good wife...I don't do it because I'm trying to please someone or want to appear to have it all is completely for me. Well, and for those of you who follow along of course. The truth is, I'm a stay at home mom to two small boys and a wife to a husband who works his butt off, a lot, so that he can support our family and allow me to stay home with our children. Now if you're having trouble putting two and two together that means that I don't get a whole lot of anything for myself...I don't even remember the last time I peed with the door shut or slept without a third or fourth little monster kicking me all night, fifth if you count the dog. Life is crazy and I love it, but if you've ever had children or can understand a little piece of what I'm telling you, you will know the importance of having something to call your own. And that's just what my blog is...mine. I really love the process or having meaningful experiences and telling those stories and then when putting it all into words to share with others it just brings a whole new life to it all. I get to relive the good times and sometimes the bad, and let others in on a very special piece of who I am and what's important to me...pretty cathartic I suppose. 

I hope to continue to blog regularly as I really do enjoy it. Tonight, Eric was home and I even asked him if he'd mind if I went upstairs to our bedroom so I could blog by myself. "What? Why?" he asked. And since Owen was still awake I told him that it's just difficult for me to gather my thoughts when I have distractions so I wanted to take a few to write in our bedroom. He didn't mind so here I am lying in bed, alone, in the peace and quiet...did I mention alone??? Well, if that doesn't get me to blog more often than I don't know what will!! It's almost as good as going to the gym and leaving the kids in childcare!! hahaha just kidding...kinda. But in all seriousness, I hope you'll continue to follow along and share all our experiences with us as I write about them. I love knowing that people are interested in what I have to say and that someone cares to take time out of their own busy lives to step into ours for a moment...people are reading this right?? Anways, if you are out there... I appreciate you! 

Lesson for today - Stop setting yourself up to fail. No need to give yourself unreal expectations that will only bring you down...Sometimes things need to be simply what they are. Which is why I'm happy to announce that my blog is just my blog.
Until next time...

1 comment:

  1. Wow!!!! I didn't realize that our chat on the way into the grocery store had an impact!!!! Welcome back, little one!!! I absolutely love your writing......keep it coming! If you wrap up in your very girly quilt while you write, it'll be ALL about you....(and yes, I do check daily for new blog posts....)


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